Headset

Y'know, I am thinking about getting a wireless headset/microphone combo.

I know, they're annoying and pretentious. Super-pretentious.

People who wear them are constantly confusing me: are they talking to me or to someone in their ear? or are they just crazy and getting away with it?

And I hate poeple who are talking to me and then stop to talk to their ear... rude, much? (Yes, is the answer.)

Performers who wear them also annoy me, because I can't figure out whether they want us to know they're "connected" (and thus super-cool, like Justin Timberlake) or whether they're trying to scam us about their amazing vocal abilities (like Justin Timberlake). As a theatre person, I know projecting into an auditorium is hard, but frankly most pop-rock singers can't project at all. They're so lucky geeks invented amplification in super-cool packages.

But, watching Torchwood today, it is just so cool when they can drive aggressively (outmanuevering space monsters) and still talk to each other long distance. Or search not-so-deserted warehouses for bad guys... and still talk to each other. Or fight monsters and talk on the phone. 

"What am I doing? I'm fighting a monster. Yeah, he's got a big head and fangs and kinda drools. I think I'm gonna use some ju-jitsu on him. I might could just shoot him. Wow, reception is great in this sub-cellar. Are you on the jetway yet?" (Of course, on Torchwood they talk in ripping British accents I cannot simulate here without sounding like a bad Oscar Wilde imitation... or actually, they speak in French dubbing with flawless French accents. Sorry.)

I guess cool action heroes/rock stars have these kind of techno-toys.

Well, cool action heroes and those who wish they were cool action heroes.

Me, I'm still learning how to use the abacus. In junior high, I wigged out over my calculator daily. Now, I have a terrible time with my cell phone. I battle with keeping it charged, loaded with minutes, picking up voicemail, you name it--and I have the simplest phone known to man above two cans and a string. It's a phone that is only a phone... can you believe it? Of course, I don't actually believe I need a cell phone: I think that "need" is manufactured by both the telecom industry and people who want to feel important/can't stand silence, meaning that they have to have something to talk into all the time. All. The. Time.

Who has that much to say? Or, who has that much to say that is worth hearing.

But if I had a headset/microphone combo, I could multi-task like the devil. Everything could be done at the same time as talking on the phone, since it would be hands-free. And cool, like an action hero or rock star. Like Batman or Madonna. Bat-donna.

Complication: I cannot wear ear-buds and I don't want to look like a geek... hmm. I want a wireless combo that hangs over your ear and definitely appears to be super-space age.

You might be scratching your head and wondering why this new fixation. Can't tell you. Maybe I simply want to jump lightyears beyond regular handsets, cellphones, and Skype. Maybe I just want to be the annoyer rather than the annoyee in the mobile phone world, for once. Maybe it just seems like a really cool accessory. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands today.

Pearl